You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck
"Excuse me miss, can I have the time? I'd check my watch but I can't take my eyes off you."
A friend is someone who will help you move. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a dead body
