You're so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead
Here's to alcohol, the cause of - and solution to - all life's problems.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
