you can stab me with knives, you can beat me with clubs, you can make me open my eyes when we're having sex but there's no way on earth you can make me get a second job
That's what being a man is like: making mistakes and not caring
A fat woman sloshed into the shoe store today, said she was retaining water, I said not to worry about it. The dam of cellulite holding it back should keep us all high and dry for the next few years
Except for the day before the day I met you, this is the happiest day of my life