A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong.
If I get interviewed by a police sketch artists, my only goal will be to see how far I get before he realizes I'm making him draw a pirate.
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work
Father's day, the most confusing day in the ghetto.
