Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
I prayed to God for a car, but prayers doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness
Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested.
What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen
