I flirted with disaster last night. Now disaster won't stop texting me.
We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
Love is like peeing yourself - everyone can see but only you feel the warmth.
When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
