I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish
Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day
Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.