Marriage advice for dummies: Five worst things you can do 5 Abandon 4 Lie 3 Cheat 2 Abuse 1 Forget to start the dishwasher
Have a girl that everyone else dreams about, but don't dream about a girl that everyone else has
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said