My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.
Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.
Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter