My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, And the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
There are two kinds of friends : those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you
My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and I. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch