There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!
If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
