Unfortunately, but sometimes a woman can't find herself a man. She doesn't like the drunken ones, and the sober ones doesn't like her.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor"