What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Hog and kisses!
What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life
