Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a mustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
April Fools' Day is like a huge open mic night in which millions of people go out of their way to demonstrate how unfunny they are.
I'd like to start today by telling you how wonderful you are. I'd like to but...
Smoking is a slow death! But we're not in a hurry...