When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor"
April Fools' Day is like a huge open mic night in which millions of people go out of their way to demonstrate how unfunny they are.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? "Put it on my bill."
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.