A woman comes into the mall today, so huge she's protected by Greenpeace and asks for a size 4 shoe. So I asked her if she wants to eat them there or takes them home
Today is the first day of the end of your life
Why don't you follow me down the brewery, I'll tie a bowling ball to my ankle, dive in a vat of beer, I'll leave this world the same way I entered my marriage. Dead Drunk!
Do you always go to work wearing curtains and smelling of Mars bars?