Worst thing you can do is hire a prostitute and then fail to get it up.
We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
