Latest Funny One Liners

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it ...so I said "Implants?"

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy

How do you know that Santa is a man? No woman wears the same attire every year

The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly

I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking