Latest Funny One Liners

This isn't working out. I think we should start making other people miserable

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball

If I wanted to get trapped in a scary maze, I'd just go into my kid's bedroom

Salary is like a period - you wait for it a whole month and it ends in a week

Everything becomes 100 times louder when you're trying not to wake someone up