Latest Funny One Liners

What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!

Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific

What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion

I know that there are people who don't love their fellow man, I hate those people

Scientists proved that cows don't give us meat and milk. We just take it from them!

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand