Latest Funny One Liners

Isn't it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected

Friends wave red flags when you have a bad idea. Real friends pick up a camera

I'm sorry I wasn't part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future?

He was in a pub when he proposed. It was very romantic - he got up on one knee

Those of you who think you know it all are damn annoying to those of us who do!

Why wasn't there any blacks in the flintstones? Because they were still monkeys

A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday