Latest Funny One Liners

I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you!

They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts.

I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.