Funny One Liners

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

Men? On the whole, I'd rather buy new batteries.

What kind of key opens a casket? A skeleton key.

Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.