Latest Funny One Liners

My ex-girlfriend told me nothing shocks her anymore so I switched her digital scale from Lbs to Kg

You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg? Because they won't stop to ask directions

Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza