Latest Funny One Liners

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree would kill you? A pool table

Lawyers really aren't so bad, it's just ninety-nine percent of lawyers that make the rest look bad

Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending? Because they needed to be ad-dressed!

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead

Two snowmen in a field, one turned to the other and said "I don't know about you but I can smell carrots!"

What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced