Latest Funny One Liners

Why are birthday's good for you? Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!

If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are... you have small boobs

Do you know if pigs have periods?' 'Are you kidding me? What idiot would keep a pig until she's 14?'

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? Shoot him again

A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?