Latest Funny One Liners

Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful

Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage

Credit cards are VERY dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said

Is pikachu called pikachu because he always say pikachu or is he saying pikachu because he is pikachu?

How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too