Latest Funny One Liners

Anyone have any sex laying around they're not using I could borrow?

He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.

Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Men read Playboy for the articles, women go to malls for the music.

"Why don't you trust me?", she texted both the guys simultaneously.

He can't decide whether to have his visor half open or half closed.