Latest Funny One Liners

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Karma takes too long, I'd rather beat the shit out of you just now.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. ...

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.