Latest Funny One Liners

It's so cold outside, I actually saw a gangster pull his pants up.

You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

Never underestimate a woman's ability to make anything your fault.

Sorry I didn't text you back, but my phone recognized your number.