Latest Funny One Liners

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.

I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.

What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A thought.

Oh, what? Sorry. I was trying to imagine you with a personality.

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together.