One Liners

Latest Funny One Liners

I thought you'd be flattered that my dog found your leg so attractive.

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I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't.

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Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

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Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.

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You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

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I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, but I already have one.

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When you try to prove to someone that something doesn't work, it will.

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