Latest Funny One Liners

I'm not lazy... I'm just on my energy saving mode.

Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole.

You're like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.

Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.

I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?