Funny One Liners

Father's day, the most confusing day in the ghetto.

I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you!

They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts.

I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.