Funny One Liners

The road to success is always under construction.

Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.

If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

Multitasking: screwing up several things at once.

I know my limits: if I fell down it means enough.