How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood? The Blacks get car insurance
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It doesn't matter how much you work, there will always be an asshole that works less but gets more
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Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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What's a man's idea of a perfect date? A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack
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How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
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What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down
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