You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you
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Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing
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You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me
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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall
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Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg? Because they won't stop to ask directions
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Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza
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Why are birthday's good for you? Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!
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