How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains
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Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her
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Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter
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Why can't women read maps? Only the male mind can comprehend the concept of one inch equaling a mile
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I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass
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The speed of light is when you take out a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on
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The human soul weighs 1.2lbs. I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into my job
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