If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are... you have small boobs
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Do you know if pigs have periods?' 'Are you kidding me? What idiot would keep a pig until she's 14?'
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How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
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Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!
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What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? Shoot him again
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A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
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Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones
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