Love is not the number of times you kissed her, but the number of moments you were dying to kiss her
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The difference between true love and dinosaurs: We're sure that dinosaurs once existed on this earth
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Some people only gets called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name
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I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it, and he's always on time
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Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say: "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
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There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable...
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Dear ladies, if you want to have more free time and have fun on the weekends, teach your men fishing!
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