Identity theft is the most diabolical way someone can compliment you on doing a good job at life
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The sun is going to go out in 4 billion years, and you sit there and act like everything is fine
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Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode
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An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true
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Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs
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My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.
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There's a pigeon walking up the driveway. I don't care what he wants. I'm not answering the door
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