What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? They both drip when they're fucked
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Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said "concentrate"!
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Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich
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What is live? Life is love. Whats love? Love is kissing. Whats kissing? Come here and I show you
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car
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I named my hard drive "dat ass" so once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'
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The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it
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