I don't have a Fitbit. But I have a couple of fat bits.
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26.8 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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Hear about the new gay sitcom? "Leave it, it's Beaver."
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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster with more energy!
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