All One Liners and Comebacks

Al Bundy

I'm not paying for mistakes. I've been doing that since I got married.

This Al Bundy quote is rated: 2.36 from: 11 votes

Al Bundy

Peg, is there any reason this cactus is where my alarm clock should be?

This Al Bundy quote is rated: 4 from: 7 votes

Al Bundy

I had a dream last night. A big red haired mosquito in tight pants was hovering over me sucking money out of my wallet

This Al Bundy quote is rated: 4.08 from: 12 votes

Al Bundy

We're closed and, much like my life, the day is over

This Al Bundy quote is rated: 3 from: 7 votes