All One Liners and Comebacks

Al Bundy

I wanna go the way all Bundys go. I wanna hang myself in my own basement by jumping off my workbench

This Al Bundy quote is rated: 3.75 from: 12 votes

Al Bundy

Did you know that daddy's nurse was a fat woman who used to come to his shoe store? I say "used to" because her patronage fell off when she came in and asked for something to make her foot look small, and I said "try your ass"

This Al Bundy quote is rated: 3.67 from: 12 votes

Al Bundy

I'll tell you what I do then, We'll stand you in front of a mirror, I'll begin strangling you, when you reach the shade of blue that is satisfactory to you, you yell "Moo" and I'll stop

This Al Bundy quote is rated: 3.85 from: 13 votes

Al Bundy

I'm not selling shoes for the money Aaron. I'm in it to torture fat women

This Al Bundy quote is rated: 3.67 from: 6 votes