Latest Funny One Liners

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Why are Scientology and Proctology alike? It's all a load of shit.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible.