Latest Funny One Liners

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Escalators don't break down... they just turn into stairs.

Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

If your going to be two faced at least make one of them pretty.

To weigh 50 kilos and say that you're fat, that is so female...

At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he's adopted?

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.