Latest Funny One Liners

Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby?

An escalator can never break — it can only become stairs.

What did the blonde say when she saw Cheerios? Donut seeds.

Crime doesn't pay... does that mean that my job is a crime?

I eat the broken cookies first because I feel bad for them.

Mostly men lie before the elections, sex and after fishing.

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.