Latest Funny One Liners

Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

If bullshit could float...you'd be the Admiral of the fleet!

Why did the snowman smile? Because the snowblower is coming.

A woman never wakes up her second baby just to see it smile.

What did the light bulb say to the switch? "You turn me on."

There are two rules for success: 1) Don't tell all you know.