Latest Funny One Liners

She's so fat, she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

Never laugh at your girlfriends choices... your one of them.

Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.